Jaymie's Epiphany

My Late Hearing Dog and Current Dogs

2008-03-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

Carl, from Kalalau's Korner, just melts my heart every time there is a post about his ADORABLE little puppy, Kula. I just want to take him home! He's so cute. I thought since he talks about Kula, I'd tell you briefly about mine too.

I am a proud owner of Labrador Retrievers also. My first one of 14 years was a hearing dog, and a wonderful one! I miss him dearly. I got Nicky (left) when he was just 8 weeks old and at 10 months old, took him to a local hearing dog trainer (now out of business, so I was fortunate to have him trained while the business was still in effect). Even though he was a certified hearing dog, I never really demanded him to do everything he learned in training. He would know them, but he was more of a companion-pet to me. He passed on and is sorely missed. Now, I have my second and third, Chance and Sheli (right). Got both of them when they were about 9 weeks old. They are now 4 and 3. They are siblings. They bring me such joy with each passing day. They aren't trained to be hearing dogs, but since I remembered the different techniques used with my first Lab, I applied that to my current dogs and they picked up rather fast.

When Carl talks about Kula learning sign language, that brought smiles to my face because I did the same with all of my dogs. Nicky knew, and now C & S knows these signs: no, sit, stay, stop, hungry-eat, cookie, ball, go-walk. I could teach them a lot more signs, but I admit, I'm more vocal when it comes to talking to them.

Dogs are such smart creatures. I believe they are God's gifts to us in the sense of companionship. Give them plenty of TLC and they'll reward you with unconditional love. Treat them well and fairly.

Chance and Sheli wave a paw to you, Kula! Woof! Woof!

Earth Hour

2008-03-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

Tayler Mayer, via his previous vlog, convinced me to participate in the worldwide Earth Hour yesterday (Saturday, March 29). It was supposed to be for an hour in the evening, but I've decided to make it from 10am to 10pm. I succeeded! Well, frankly, it helped to be out and about until that time, so I wasn't home to be tempted to turn on the computer or TV. But, still, I had the strong sense of participation in this event. I have another personal website that is not advertised in here and like Tayler, I disconnected my homepage and filled it with information about Earth hour and no one was able to navigate anywhere in my website until after 10pm. Now, it's back up and running. I hope more people were convinced to join this worthy of cause event and if not this year, then hopefully next year. Thanks, Tayler for being the incentive. :-)

Hate Crimes Rising

2007-10-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

I just read an article in the Daily Breeze (local newspaper for the beach cities in the South Bay, Los Angeles) this afternoon about what happened at MSSD (Model Secondary School for the Deaf) in Washington DC. Apparently a group of white boys and a black boy held another black boy against his will and inscribed the cruel labels that many have feared for several decades, KKK and swastikas, on his body (specific location wasn't mentioned). Police are investigating this case and at this time and they did not state whether or not the boys were disciplined for the incident. It is sad to be watching this happen all over again among the two groups. I'm a teacher at a high school and the area (city) where I work in is predominately white. The deaf students are from all over the LA county and just about all of them do not live in this particular city. They take a school bus to and from their residential areas, which are commonly the inner-cities. The ethnic groups are mostly African-American and Hispanic. We have three white students and an Asian who live in the suburbs and are considered upper-scale.

"What's the point here?," you may ask. I'm trying to say I have a couple black students who are very sweet and good-natured folks and they have very involved and wonderful parents. We've worked well together, but recently with the Jena 6 incident, I've been seeing negative comments from the two students regarding what happened and how they felt the black boys were mistreated by the white group and the police department there. They are starting to carry the "I owe you" attitude about what they get from the white community and are quick to say, "See, I told you" at other incidents they hear about that are similar. And yet they have not experienced this personally and seem to be happy here. Where would they get the negativity from? I haven't yet told my students about what happened at MSSD and I do not plan to only to prevent further and unnecessary antics, but at the same time I want them to know what's happening in the Deaf World. I have a responsibility to create a harmonious environment that promotes healthy and excelled learning and not create any hostile, prejudicial, antagonistic activities or comments among my DHH students. I'm at a dilemma here.

I'm just grateful that these students do not appear to hold any grudges against me as their Caucasian teacher. Their fingers are pointed to the "outside" at this time and I'm hoping it will stay that way and diminish with time, rather than bring their Deaf friends and staff that work here into it. Know what I'm saying, people? As you already know, it's different in the Deaf-World. We recognize another Deaf person by their deafness and connection to the community before we even look at their ethnic affiliation. Their skin color isn't an important factor when it comes to the Deaf community. It is when they are out in the public with their hearing families or neighborhoods. I love people from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds, especially those who are Deaf.

Sigh....I wish this hatred would just go away.

Teaching babies sign language is a great thing!

2007-05-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

But, of course, in my opinion, the target group would be deaf babies. I know that learning sign language at infancy accelerates verbal language acquisition in hearing babies as well; it enriches communication between parents and children; and it is an emotional advantage children have when they are able to express what they are unable to intelligibly utter at a young age. There are video-tapes and computer devised programs that provide hearing parents with hearing babies to learn sign language together. I think that's great!

But, it brings a point I'd like to surface. Are these "handful" video programs teaching an established and lifelong language or is it just the rudimentary elements of sign language to be used for a short period of time? I know for a fact that sign language, not being a natural language, hearing parents find it hard to keep up with the language once their child begins to develop speech, which then skyrockets. I just wished the parents would continue to learn sign language and use it with their babies/toddlers/children/teenagers/adult children sequentially. Studies have shown a correlation between keeping a steady beat of sign language and basic reading skills. It actually speeds up the brain processing, especially when the synaptic development occurs and learning capability is at a peak.

It just FRUSTRATES me big time when I see my own deaf students lagging in literacy because they were deprived of communication with their parents at an early age. Their brain has become somewhat atrophy. What's new? They can still learn and pick up once they enter grade school, but let us all admit this...it will be at a much slower rate than those who have been exposed to sign language before schooling. I came from a wonderful and loving family, in which I would never ask for a replacement, and one that was devoted at communicating with me and my deaf sister using sign language at a very early age and kept with it throughout my life. They have poured out their hearts and lingual abilities on us and I am ever grateful for that! I truly believe that if it weren't for my exposure to sign language before I entered school, I wouldn't be as articulate as I am now.

"Look at me. I didn't have the same exposure as you at a young age, but I'm successfully articulate in English," you may say. Yes and I'm happy for you! You're a rare breed. There are very few fortunate folks like you. But, if you take the statistics, the mean would be low.

Anyway, I'm just glad that there are such programs and that the ASL field in colleges/universities, as well as more and more high schools abroad the nation is rapidly growing and becoming a popular demand. I am glad that more hearing children are being exposed at an early age because by the time they reach adulthood, they'll already have a better understanding and acceptance of the Deaf-World.

Would you?

2007-05-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

I wondered how this would impact the deaf community, in the Los Angeles County area, if this was to take place. Some time ago, I heard that the Michigan Commission on Disability Concerns distributed free postcards to assist police officers when they encounter drivers who may be deaf. The postcard is positioned on the dashboard.

Would you have one and use it in your vehicle?

This used to be a frequently mentioned topic in the deaf community in L.A. and I know that many people (including myself) do not feel comfortable putting up a decal sticker (or a postcard) anywhere on our vehicles that identifies us as deaf drivers. There was also a talk some time ago about putting up an icon of some sort that identifies us as deaf drivers on our license plate in California. Good thing, it fell through. Some people (including myself) fear the possibility of being followed home by a burglar one day knowing that we'd be deaf and not hear them coming into the house. Some of us fear that some other drivers would become agitated by us deaf drivers and begin driving aggressively around us to send a statement of disgust. There are different scenarios that negate deaf people as drivers that we fear of.

Police officers often misunderstand a deaf person's flaring hands in the air or their attempt to communicate as they reach down to get a memo pad and pen in the passenger's seat, so their natural reaction would be drawing their guns at them. Or if the police officer uses their bullhorn and instructs the deaf person to step out of the car, but the deaf person does not hear and remains seated in the car causes them to think they were refusing their commands. How could we prevent that from happening. Michigan has done something about that with the postcards. The postcards are still visible because it's supposed to remain on the dashboard. It may not be visible to other people unless they approach (walk by) the vehicle and look inside and see the card. *Spotlight shines on the car* Ahhh! A deaf driver!

A friend and I talked about a better way to do this if it was to become a requirement in this area and we thought of an idea. We would'nt mind a small postcard with bright red and reflective text that says “Deaf Driver,” which would be posted on the inside of the driver’s visor to be flipped open only in case we are pulled over by a cop. That would inform the cop from the start that the driver is a deaf person, so misunderstandings and fears of threats would be diminished and keeping our identity as deaf citizens private from the public.

I don’t know…this was just one of those conversations I had with a Deaf colleague. It’d be interesting to see how this takes place. However, this has been some time ago. I haven't heard any further initiations regarding identifying ourselves as deaf drivers in California. That's a good thing for ME. Maybe some of you wouldn't mind telling the world that you're a deaf driver. That's fine because that's YOU. But, I wouldn't want it to be a mandate.

As knowledge increases, more accountability is unto you...

2007-05-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

There is something that has been bothering me for some time. Social Security Income. You know how some Deaf people would prefer to take advantage of SSI checks rather than work while they are fully capable of working, and other Deaf people use it while they attend college or are truly disabled in other ways that inhibit them from working. The latter, I can understand and accept, but certainly not the former. I have personally met a few Deaf people who purchased a brand new vehicle with their saved up SSI money and they don't even work! I asked how they were able to save up when the SSA would eventually find out that they're not using their checks to live on. They said they would use other people's bank account such as their relatives to save their checks and the SSA would never know, per se. Once they reached a goal of the amount they wanted to save, they'd withdraw it and use it for big purchases or leisure such as traveling abroad. This bothers me.

Don't forget it is our tax money that they are spending.

I was just talking with some people about how the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), to most extents, helped and supported Deaf people and at the same time how we often misuse the system. What do I mean by that? Well, I may be one of the first Deaf person that I know of from the "strong-right-wing'' (core) of the Deaf-World to admit that we have contradictions within ourselves at times. For example, on one contrary, we "demand" that our needs be met by giving us what we need to have access to the larger public such as interpreting services, federal income assistance (SSI), so forth while on the other contrary, we shun being labeled 'disabled;' hence being dependent on the government for assistance. We want to be recognized as "just different than others and from a culture of our own."

Where do we draw the line?

For the most part of the deaf community, they are not aware that they do this. Perhaps, they haven't come to this self-realization. It's something I had realized not too long ago. Personally, I would rather be known as a person who knows her role as a Deaf person who strives to be as independent and normal as possible, and be grateful for the variety of assistance and advocacy I can get without abusing it.

An emphasis: this is not to stereotype or generalize deaf people. This is only to share my frustrations with those I have come across that are perfectly normal and capable of working, but they have made a conscious choice not to and to collect....my tax money.

Speech or gestures?

2007-05-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

"Is human language rooted in speech, or are its deepest roots to be found in the gestures that made communal hunting and manufacture possible?" Frank R. Wilson writes in his book (The Hand). To me, this means the hands have a powerful use and is so complex, which begins at birth. We are guided by our hands. Knowledge comes from our use of them. All that being said, does that mean Deaf people who use their hands to communicate as well as for other basic survival necessities, inhibit deep cognition/intelligence? I believe so. However, just like any other skill (mental, physical, or spiritual), one must continue to exercise it and maintain their neuron axon impulses, otherwise it'd go atrophy. For those who are intriqued by language and human culture, Wilson's book is highly recommended to read! It gives us a perspective on how our hands shape ourselves as well as our society.

How about that?

2007-05-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

About 7,500 vibrating beepers were distributed to deaf residents of

Israel

to alert them of an Iraqi missile attack. There is a siren that blares and anyone in the

Israel

proximity would hear it and take refuge and attempt to avoid getting hit in the missile attacks. What about the deaf Israelis? The IDF Home Front Command implemented the distribution of the beepers. When the beepers vibrate (go off), a message with instructions will appear on the screen. This is wonderful for those who are able to read Hebrew, but how does it help those who do not. There are about 1,000 deaf immigrants from the former Soviet Union living in

Israel

and several hundreds from other countries. Most of them have never learned to read Hebrew. The level of anxiety among deaf immigrants and illiterate Israelis is increasing as the war in

Iraq

escalates. Makes me wonder how ready anyone is in any circumstance. Take deaf Americans for instance, how are they alerted when a tornado hits in the Midwest, or a volcanic activity takes place in Hawaii. I often wonder about the illiterate Deaf folks. What would they do?

Someone to brag about

2007-05-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

My younger sister is also "100% certified" prelingually deaf (see the decal on the right). She came into this world with access to language right off bat. By the time she was born, my parents, aunts and grandmother, all had learned sign language just sufficient to communicate with me. I wasn't fully exposed to language until close to 2 years old. My folks didn't find out about my deafness until I was about 10 months old and by the time I was 15 months, they had learned just enough signing vocabulary to at least converse with me a little. My sister was blessed with the benefits of being exposed since day one. She's such a brilliant, bubbly, and very cute (sorry, she's taken...very happily married with 3 kids) person I have always admired all of my life.

She was enrolled in the regular education gifted program during her elementary years and was in honors classes most of her secondary years. I have to admit I was somewhat jealous of her gift of intelligence, but as I got older that subsided and I just grew darn proud of her! I brag about her to everyone, telling them that my younger Deaf sister is such a writer and poet. She could publish some of her works, but bless her heart, she's a humble one. She doesn't want to go that far (yet). I'm hoping she would one day and I'd be the first in line to ask for her autograph! She actually did publish a few articles and poems in a couple of websites and have copyrights for her work. I'd like to post a couple in here to show you what a great mind she has. Remember, she has copyrights, so please be courteous and not take advantage of her. Thanks.

I miss being close in proximity with her, but she has met a wonderful man and has moved on with her life. Thank goodness for the innovation of video phone (VP)!

MAC's poems--
Both poems are about her feelings of the Deaf culture, her love for ASL, and the medical or pathological aspect of being deaf.

Monkey Language

To an outsider (of my crowd)
the way I speak is akin to primates,
"abnormal"
the outsider thinks to himself and others
thus acting superior.

Quite the contrary, dear pseudo-Freud
my hands form words and stories of prose, achievement and failure
while my face sychronizes expression.
a clear picture is drawn for my observer,
but across the sea...

my stance is viewed as
"deaf and dumb"
because the voice I express is handmade,
the outsider looks in and sees
Monkey Language.

I Am This Way

...i said, stop trying to fix me
to fit your mold of a complete human
stop viewing me as broken and needing repair.

i want you to accept me
for how i was created.
i am what i was from day one and i will be the same on my deathbed.

i am fine the way i am
remove your patronizing
do not pat me on my head once more
and claim superior knowledge

i demand equality
for i possess a special language
silent but encompassing
and therefore am just as smart as you.

...so what is the problem?

2007-04-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

Posted on April 20, 2004:
*"Shhh! You're eating like a cow!" My lips were pinched shut by my aunt Margaret's thumb and index finger.
*"Pick up your feet! You're dragging it again!" The same aunt slaps me on the back.
*"Keep your voices down. You're talking too loud." My step-father would say to me at a restaurant table. *"Don't pound on the table. I'm not reminding you again," says he.

Those are examples of things that were said to me when I was a little girl. I had no idea of the intensity of noises I was making. I didn't understand why they were always telling me to be quiet or hush down when it seemed like they weren’t telling anyone else the same thing.

Starting at age 2, almost everyday at home, I wore a strapped dual mini-pocketed hearing aid garment which held my box-shaped hearing aids onto my chest, guiding two long wires up to my ears, connecting to huge sticking-out ear molds. I hated wearing it. The molds were rock-hard. It hurt! When I was bumped by another person or an object on the ears, I grimaced in pain. I also wore a monstrous uni-aid strap at school. When ever I ran, it would bounce up and down and hit me on my chin. I always had to hold it when I ran. Being a born-athletic, it was an awkward task. I was embarrassed to appear in public with it. People of all ages stared at me. They watched me and my mom (or sister) sign to each other. Other kids at my school sneered on us who wore those hearing aids. I wanted to rip it off and throw it into the deepest sea, but I knew I'd be in deep hot water if I did, so I reluctantly kept it on.

Finally I got new hearing aids, much smaller and ones that hid behind my ears. The mold had a plastic tube that went over my ear and the mechanical part of the aid rested on the behind of my ear. I was relieved. I could live with them because at that time I had really long hair and I could hide it better.

I think that’s when I knew I was different than every one else. I was about 7.

I was in speech classes and audio-training, almost every day at school. My parents and extended family were faithful in reinforcing those strenuous exercises at home. I learned how to speak. I was able to recognize some sounds. I could tell the difference between a beeping car horn and a blowing train horn. I beamed with excitement when I was able to detect sounds. Or when I pronounced a word correctly and was followed with praises. Yet, I still knew I couldn’t hear everything others could or articulate all spoken words. I was left out at family gatherings since a young age when it came to conversations (not including those one-on-one conversations using sign language). But, I didn't really care about having heart-to-heart conversations at that time. I was more interested in playing outside or with my sister and cousins. We always had people over at the house. It was always fun watching our front door evolve into a revolving door.

I know my aunt and step-father (and others) didn't mean harm. They thought they were doing the right thing by teaching me. It was just frustrating at times, but I knew it was out of love. I loved my family. I loved speaking to my family, though it was work. I loved my deaf sister. I loved talking to her in sign language, it was natural. I had a fun and rich childhood. I was a happy child, yet a unhappy one because I knew I was different from every one else.

2007-04-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

Posted on April 19, 2004:
My grandmother, whom I love with all of my heart and soul, read in an article somewhere one day about the new innovation that would help deaf people hear. It was something that would require being put under general anesthesia. A small portion of the skull behind the ear would be sawed off and a wire with a magnetic instrument would be inserted inside the surface of the skull. The wire would go directly through the cochlea and up to the auditorial nerves. With each sound impulse would trigger electronic stimulus that sends sound cues to the brain. It is known as the so-called wonderful Cochlear Implant.

I was about 12 when my grandmother asked me if I would consider having one. With no prior knowledge of the innovation and its benefits, I was swift to decline such offer. I told her I wouldn't want to change anything and that I was satisfied with using just a hearing aid. Looking back now, I think I remember the hopeful face changed into a subtle disappointment, but she respected my wishes and never asked me again. Well, she asked me what I thought of it when I was in my early 30s and my response remained the same. She didn't question my reasons. She knows how content I am with my deafness. I'm almost sure she tried several times with my mother. Still, she had wishes for both of her grand-daughters to be able to hear.

Now, I question myself...am I truly content? Answer: no. I have always wished I could hear. I covet some things hearing people are able to do because of their ability to hear. There were times when I projected my anger at God about why He allowed me to be deaf. It was not until my spiritual maturity that I've come to know God had divine plans for me being deaf and the ways He could use me to reach out to those in the Deaf community. I also know that there are plenty of things I am certainly glad (and blessed?) not having to hear. It is only with my Deaf peers or hearies that are immersed in the Deaf-World that I feel at home with. When it comes to quality time with my loved ones, such as family, or just picking up the phone to have a chit-chat with my best friend (who is hearing and lives so far away), or when I'm stuck in horrible traffic and have no idea what is the cause and I couldn't turn on the radio to find out, or when I'm at a hearing church and I glance about the room watching people worship God with their eyes closed and tears of joy streaming down their cheeks is when it saddens me that I can not hear. On the contrary, I am fully happy and confidence with my deafness. I have gone far in my life as a Deaf person and with my friends in the community.

The Deaf-World is my home.

Newest Blog

2007-04-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my newest blog! This will also be my first vlog, but it will be a while before I actually post one. I had an old blog from the year of 2004 when I started to write on what my life was like being deaf. I discarded that blog, but saved every entry on a back-up file. So, I thought I'd go in there and cut what I wrote and paste it in here. Then after a few of those, my entries will be current. Well, I hope you enjoy your visit in here.

Posted on April 18, 2004:
How would one guess what being deaf is like. Responses would probably be: 'Oh, I'd rather be blind' or 'I'd go crazy not knowing what to do if I couldn't hear' or 'I'd try to find a remedy for my hearing loss.' Most people would be depressed missing out on things such as music, listening to their beloved whispers in their ears, hearing every cute coo their babies make, and just the simplest sounds that surround them (not including those that they wished they didn't hear). Those are common reactions for those who were born hearing and then lost it later after acquiring a full life of hearing sounds. But, it is not so for me. I was born profoundly deaf and grew up not knowing what sound is like or all about.

Yes, I may hear a little bit with the help of a hearing aid, but there are so much I do not hear that every one else takes for granted. I learn about the many sounds that hearing people are able to hear and they amaze me. For example, I'd never know that the walls make a creaking sound at the change of the weather, that the road's wet but it is not raining (water's running off the treads of the tire), or that a tiny crumple of a paper in a quiet room is heard across the room. I just learned last week from being sick with the head cold that when coughing, one can hear the gurgle of the phlegm inside the throat. That was an alerting moment for me and now I'm much more conscious when I cough.

But, how I feel being deaf, you may ask. Frankly, I do not know any difference other than to wonder daily what it would have been like to hear all the things other people can, nevertheless I do not have the desire to 'fix' my loss. I've grown into this *34 years old woman fully accepting my deafness and, in fact, I'm proud of my life and how it has brought me to succeed in a world not hearing.

* I'm not 34 anymore, but 37, going on 38 in October.